Ok, so I'm 17, turning 18 in about two months. I've got my whole life ahead of me but I feel shitty almost every day. I'm not sick, I have no personal problems, nobody I care about has died recently and I have a few good friends. I just can't ignore the stories of college failures who graduate but can't find a job in their major (not philosophy and bullshit like that, but majors like law and education). I was always good at history and English but when I hear that a history teaching position opened at my high school and there were over 200 applicants, I feel like my strengths are worthless. I wanted to be a mechanical engineer because I like to take things apart and learn how they work, and I've always been fascinated with machines (I'm really into mountain biking and dirt biking). When I learned about all the math courses you need to take for an engineering major, I just said "fuck that" (I suck at algebra, calc, etc...). Anyway, I HAVE to go to college for something, but I'm not sur Read More
e what. That's one thing that looms over my head and makes me feel shitty. Another is how awkward I am around certain groups of people. I'm not a reclusive nerd kinda guy and I'm not really weird looking (white guy, medium length brown hair, no acne to speak of, 5'6, 160lbs, athletic build).
But say I was to go to a party... Well, unless I knew a few people, it would be really awkward for me. If there were a mixed group of different ages, you'd probably find me hanging around with people at least 10 years older than me. I also get kinda depressed when I'm hanging out with women and a guy who is better looking, funnier, and just generally better than me comes along. I usually find a friend to stick with or go somewhere else and play games on my phone at that point. I also feel like what I do amounts to nothing. I could build a bike from a pile of parts... Hooray for me! Have I REALLY accomplished much? No. I got a job! Washing dishes. I got a car (it's a '92, but it's nice)! Then my neighbor's son gets a brand new car (but he's a spoiled tool anyway). I make $130 a week washing dishes, but that's child's money. Am I wrong to believe that an hour of my life is worth more than eight dollars? I have a friend who is a year younger than me and gets paid $30 an hour as manager of a bowling alley. What the fuck!? And finally, I just hate my generation. Maybe it's just in my high school, but it feels like every girl is a bitchy, yoga-pants wearing slut who would rather text on their phone than actually talk to people, and every guy is a swagfag who wears their hat in the most idiotic way possible, acts like a royal douchebag to everybody and has their pants halfway down their ass at all times. And despite all that, they have lots of friends and are always with a hot girl. What the fuck!? Have people completely lost all self respect? I wish the recession never happened and I could get a better job. I wish people my age
weren't shit. And I wish that you didn't need college to succeed.
