Radio , I Am Sam , Dominick & Eugene .....how many more of these retard movies can you make ? are you going to make one on the retarded motherfucker down the block from me who dribbles a tennis ball down his forehead all day ? WTF ????.........these motherfuckers are good for one thing only ...PLANT HOLDERS

Alright, so I hear "The Last Exorcism" has hit the box office. I call up some mates and we haul-arse to the theater. But wouldn't you fucking know it...Teenagers! At first I thought the bastards wouldn't do anything, maybe text, lose interest and leave. Right? WRONG!! It all started as soon as we walked in. The loud- mouthed poser HAS to make his presence known everywhere (keep in mind there were roughly 7 of them), so he yells almost at the top of his lungs "FUCK YEAH MAN!!" Already warned of consequences by an employee he just gives them a dirty look and moves on. So that leaves me thinking "fuck it, i'm not going to see the same movie as them so it's cool". Apparently, I was sadly mistaken because teens, for some reason love to prove how mature and grown-up they are by watching horror films so I probably should've expected it; then again, they bought a ticket for "Inception" but they FUCKING SWITCH THEATERS LIKE THE BUNCH OF COCKSUCKERS THEY ARE!! Don't those ignorant little cunts know that that is considered stealing? So I ask them "Hey, you guys went to see Inception...Why are you in here? That's stealing..." In a serious (but polite) tone. So to demonstrate to me how excellent their manners were and how stupid they are one of them blurts out "Wha? No man, we totally paid for a fuckin' ticket, it's all chillaxin' man! That ain't no stealin'" So my lack of concern gets the better of me and I watch the screen. Approximately 20 mins into the film they start texting, talking about their dates, e.t.c...Then some demon-possessed bitch just does some crazy shit on-screen. The worst I heard from the normal audience was maybe a flinch and a "Whoa! Shit!" and then recollecting themselves. However some of the sluts from the group behind me scream as though they're being raped with a 16-inch dick!!! All of the audience just looks over their shoulder in confusion all thinking "What are those chicks on?" And once the movie was about three-quarters done the self-proclaimed gangster goes to take a piss and on his way back in an usher questions him. The conversation went somewhat like this:

Usher: Hey, you look a bit young to be watching this kind of stuff

Gangster: Uhhh, my, uh, parents are in there...

Usher: Oh, really? I suppose they won't mind if I just have a word with them...

Gangster: *Realizes he's been caught show hopping" OH FUCK!!! *Runs away*

Many Lolz ensued after his friends all ran after him and they themselves got caught in the process, yelled and and banned from all the local theaters for 6 months :)

 

Of all the stupid so-called "reality" shows on TV, the Kardashians has to be the most unreal of them all.

 

 

During a recent visit to family (something I always try to avoid if possible), I had to sit in the family room as there was a full scale bitch party/bridal shower in progress in the main living room.  Since there was plenty of good munchies and I had control of the remote for the 60" flat screen, I was starting to think that things weren't so bad about being forced to drive someone to this event taking place, almost out of ear shot, in the front of the house.   

 

 

Then the unthinkable happened.

 

 

About a dozen young ladies, all around 12 to 15 years of age, descended on the family room and insisted on watching their favorite show, The Kardashians.   Since I was begged to give up the remote in such a pretty way, I gave it up and figured that after half an hour, the little ladies would depart and leave me and the TV alone.

 

 

I was wrong.

 

 

They watched about two hours of this program they had previously recorded and I can tell you that this "reality" show is all about nothing.  Nothing, that is, except a bunch of brainless, bimbos (including the mother), whose lives revolve around shopping, gossiping, watching tv, and dieting.  If they were not rich children of famous people - they would be less than nothing.  If not for their dark hair - they would be dumb blondes.  If not for their looks - they would never have the slightest chance of "catching a man" unless the guy was wearing a metal suit and they had an electromagnet attached to a wrecker.

 

 

The worst part of this entire torture session was the real "reality" aspect, namely the little girls all sighing with the desire to be just like the Kardashians.  What an aspiration!  Not to become doctors and heal the sick, or leaders of our nation, or anything with any value for society and themselves.  They just want to be bimbos.

 

 

Fuck the Kardashians.   I hope they all get stranded on a desert island with no mineral water, no low-carb diet delights, no hair stylist, no makeup, no nail salons, no BMW's or Mercedes sports cars and NO FUCKING PLACE TO SHOP!!!

Too bad, many fucking smart people are giving up on the useless cable TV service simply because cable TV has way too many commercials and have channels with shows no one cares to watch. Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, Youtube are on the fast track to replace Cable TV. It's fucking sad; all cable TV has to do is offer customers individual TV channel selections instead of package deals. And they need to offer the service with commercials (cost less)  or without commercials (cost more). If Cable did this then it will stop the onslaught of Cable TV defectors that they are experiencing every day. It's just SAD! These fucking morons don't know what the customers want or they do know and they choose to ignore them. So FUCK THEM! Let them dig a hole and bury their heads in the sand like the dumb fucking idiots they are! They deserve to go bankrupt for their stupidity! DIE CABLE TV DIE!

I fucking hate that fucking new commercial for Dentyne Pure gum with that *censored* kissing some brunette bimbo cunt. I'm so fucking sick of kissing on TV period. No, I don't want to "practice safe breath". I want to practice raping the shit out of these fucking bimbos who are so slutty they would put their fucking lips around a *censored*'s mouth.

WHAT A SHITTY MOVIE! Can't believe I cancelled a whole day of jacking off to watch this garbage! 

I have seen lots of bad movies, lots...but I just wasted 1h and 26min of my life watching Paranormal Activity.......I have never felt so ripped off of life time ever....waiting for something, anything to happen....and then when it does in the last 3min its fuckin stupid as shit, yeah
(spoiler alert...although your not missing much as this price of shit was spoiled before it hit the theaters....)
the chick comes up covered in blood and slashes her own throat.....shit I wanted to slash my own throat after it was over....and you dont even get to see what happened.....just 2 seconds of screaming...yeah it supposed to be suspenseful and leave it to the imagination....I wish I could have imagined another better movie while I was wasting my time watching this crap

And now I hear they are making a second one.....fuck that......
How can people get away with this......like ha ha you paid to watch...and we have your money....
I wish I could find the people that made this film and punch them in the fuckin face.....and then make them watch this film over and over and over until they want to slash their own throats...although after watching this it shouldn't take more than 1 viewing.....

Clash of the Titans is just another example of how movie makers today think that if they use enough special effects, no one will notice how much the story, the acting or even the accuracy of the movie SUCKS!!! Once again, I spent my good money and valuable time on yet another dumbass, piece of shit movie. This one way hyped so much, I decided to see it against my better judgement. Next time, I'll wait for the movie to come out on cable. It seems to be a new trend in movies to see to it that the actors are covered in dirt and shit, and are wearing a collection of rags that look like they came from a Good Will dumpster and/or someone's assorted old Halloween costumes. This attempt at distraction from the lousy acting performances failed miserably. I have come to the conclusion that the only reasons for making movies of this type are as follows: 1. To make as much money at the box office as the gullible are willing to fork over. 2. To showcase the producer's latest crop of talentless bitches and ass-buddies. 3. To give usually good actors at least one film role they can look back on and cringe over. 4. To hype a line of toys and action figures associated with the film. Thereby making even more money for the Hollywood big shots. Clash of the Titans should be renamed "Cash for the Titans". It stinks from the word "GO"!!!

Yes i know its fucking cool cuz its CG and shit, and yes i will admit that it did look pretty goddamn impressive.  But i hate the fucking liberal underlying message!!!  I GET IT, white people are BAAAADD, the blue people are more advanced than us because they are in tune with the Environment!!  TOO BAD!!  James Cameron can take his movie and shove it up his ass.

Hi, I'm Bob Saget. Most of you probably remember me from Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos. Unfortunately, that's probably all you mostly remember me from. The truth is, I deeply regret being apart of those shows. Why? Because they sucked! Also, that's when I started snorting crack and smoking marijuana. Being a part of a retarded sitcom and a crappy contest show are two of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in my life. I used to enjoy being a foul-mouthed and fun comedian. I don't know why I watered myself down. That's where my life went downhill. I've also pleasured myself to Rosie O'Donnell many times. The reason why is because I love lesbians. I always ask them out, even though they usually beat the shit out of me! I especially love it whenever they stomp on my dick. That gets me rock-hard every time! Good night, America.