she lives with us. and i don't like her!

damn it 100% of the time we argue because of her!

shit!

SHE IS DESTROYING OUR MARRIAGE!

AND I KEEP TELLING MY HUSBAND THAT THEY NEED TO MOVE OUT OF OUR HOUSE

AND HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO TELL THEM NICELY!

OH WHAT THE FUCK!

u should put her in a nursing home in some foreign country where SHE doesn't speak the language!

---
Life is for living, so uhh, yeah...

I have read all of these comments and sadly I think my mother in law is worse, perhaps because she is MY problem. OK, where to start, I was so excited to meet her back when my husband and I were first dating. I wanted to make a good impression with her so I went and bought her roses thinking she deserved it after raising such a wonderful man. It was great, Things didn't start to change until we started to make plans to get married.

First, She had it in her mind she could invite Everyone in the world, let me make it clear she was not paying for any of the wedding, we were, and I was working 3 jobs to do so so we (my husband and I) decided to try to keep it reasonable. She decided she was going to invite ALL her neighbors that lived in her appartment complex, people that she always was complaining about, one who in fact spread Manure on her living room window. When we told her No she was so pissed. I made my wedding invitations and she wanted me to go back and re-make all of them because it did not say on them that (her and her deceiced husband would like to invite you to celebrate the occasion) I wasn't aware when making them that although she was not paying for any of it, it was her celebration to invite people too.

Next comes the day we get back from our honeymoon. You know the top teir of the wedding cake, the part your suppost to freeze till your 1 year wedding anniversary? She ate it, and the parts she didn't eat, she left out on the counter uncovered so it was all dried out. I thought it was intteresting that she would do that, but I said nothing.

Then exactly 1 week after we got married we were suppost to go to a family picnic on the coast (3hours away) She doesn't drive and since we live closer to her then any other family members, we picked her up to take her. We had litterely just gotten into the car when my husband and I started talking about his dead end job, which he brought up because he was complaining about it, and I told him he should quit, that he needed to pursue something that made him happy and where he would be appreciated, She butt in and said how stupid I was and that it was job security, and that She just knew that I "would ruin his life" I decided to ignore that, still wanting her to like me, then we got about 1 mile from home before she started in on me again, so I asked my husband to turn around and take me home, he refused to do that, so I still ended up going, and I felt so uncomfortable the whole time.

now through the first year of the marrage it was difficult, with her, and I got pregnant on top of it (4 months in). I told my husband that while I was in labor I would not want her in the room at all because I didn't want to have the added stress of her presance. Well, Right after I delivered my son, (Without drugs, and 22 hour delivery) She walks in the room while they are Litterally still sewing me up, my ya-ya was out there for the world to see. My husband immediely told her to get out, but what does she do? She went out to the waiting room and started crying on my moms shoulder saying how mean I was for not allowing her to be a part of it. My mom came in and told me she thought I owed my mother in law an appology. Uh, whats wronge with that picture?? Needless to say I never did. Why should I, I had just given birth, I was still being sewn up, my husband was the one who kicked her out (YAAA!).

Then just about a month after my son was born things came to a head when my husband and I decided to go visit her to work things out, Well that just made it worse because a week later (AT CHURCH) she said she was mad at my husband and I because she said out loud for the whole congregation to hear that, and I quote her exact words "Threatened to commit manslauter on her" She said she was mad at her son because he just allowed me to say that and didn't get mad at me at all for it, and she felt her life was in danger. First of all, who even talks like that? second, my husband and I were both baffled as to where she would get that. and third, why she felt compelled to blurt that at Church. How humilliating.

Then I start getting phone calls and my husband starts getting phone calls from people from people saying they have talked to my MIL and amongst some of those people are my best friends and family (whos phone numbers she got at the wedding, and she I guess had been keeping in touch with ever since) and they call to tell me I need to be the bigger person and appologize, my husband meanwhile is being called by his relatives and brothers and they are telling him that I am out of control and he needs to put me in my place. I then decided that I no longer would have anything to do with my MIL and there was NO way that I would allow her to be around my kids without me around because I did not want her saying anything to my children or around my children where they could hear her say bad things about me, and since I was never planning on being around her again, she would never get to know them.

Well, my husband and I started fighting about it and we fought about it for a few years. He swore up and down that she would NEVER EVER do anything like that and that I had nothing to worry about. Well, after a 3 year span of not ever being around her and having another child I decided that I was not so angry anymore and that perhaps my husband was right, and that I had nothing to worry about, so I gradually started to let her see my kids. Things went well for the next 2 years. In fact I started to enjoy her company.

UNTIL about 3 months ago. We all have been very financially strapped and ( I ) came up with the bright idea that she should move in with us and she could get caught up and we could get caught up. Meanwhile we thought she could babysit if my husband and I had to go somewhere, she babysat once, and we came home and out of nowhere she started yelling at me (thankfully right in front of my husband) telling me how horrible I am and that my son is just like me (uh, her grandson by blood) And she said that she did not EVER want us to leave the kids home alone with her again. So ok, we didn't for the most part, the only time we started leaving them with her again was when I started going back to work to bring in a little money cause we are still struggleing, and in order to do that I had to leave for work sometimes at 10pm so I could make sure the kids were totally asleep for the night and she wouldn't have to do anything.

All this time she never once cooked dinner while living with us, or cleaned ANYTHING, I made Every meal and cleaned Everything, even HER bathroom which I never use, the least you think she could do is babysit. OH plus I still was taking her around to run aronds because she still does not drive. well last week she went for a walk to the nearby Social Security building because she said she needed a new card, she lost hers, but she was gone all day so I was kinda (I use kinda lightly) worried about her. So I asked my husband if she told him she was going anywhere else and he said That last night while talking to his brother he got the news "So I guess Mom is moving out" Uhhh. What? Shouldn't we be the ones telling him that? So she was out that day getting a new appartment, and filling out lease papers. Guess that means we gotta find a new baby sitter for the kids at night. Nice of her to tell us.

Then I ask her why she didn't tell us and kept it secret and she said it was last minute. Then a day later after her and I avoiding each other, my son comes into the house from playiong outside and knocks on her bedroom door to ask her for help with getting into the garage since her room is right next to the garage, and I hear her say "Go ask your mom to do it" So I start comming down the stairs and start asking my son what he needs and she says to me "Oh nevermind, I'll do it" I just decide to go find out what he needs anyways because he is not allowed to get into the garage and while I am asking him what he is doint she is saying "he couldn't get into the garage because his hands were greasy" Again, I ask MY SON what he is doing, and she AGAIN says the same thing. So finally I turn to her and say, "I am trying to ask my son what he is doing, I am not asking YOU what he is doing!" Then she turns to me and says "why are you such a Bitch?"

I was shoicked, my son was right there, he heard the whole thing, all I could say was "Excuse ME? You need to not wait until the end of the month to move out, you need to get out today!" She then said "Well, Maybe I Won't" So then she goes and gets on the phone with my husband and tells him that I was just trying to throw her out of our house, uh (forgetting to mention she had just called me a Bitch in front of my son) So then my son comes back inside the house again and looks upset, and so I ask him if he was sad and he said "yes because of the bad name Grandma just called you" SO I then Very Angry went down stairs and barged into her room and told her that I don't care if she thinks she owes me an appology or not, but she needs to go say her sorry to my son, that he is 5 years old and doesn't understand what just happened. She said, fine, then send him down, and I said to her (oh not to mention my husband was on the phone with her all the while) "NO you need to get off your Lazy Butt and go make the effort yourself" I then proceeded to go off on her knowing that my husband was on the other line, and meanwhile she is sitting there saying, "see, See how she is treating me?"

She then hands me the phone saying my husband wants to talk to me but I wasn't ready for that so I grab the phone and hang it up and proceed to grow even more angry and tell her to go appologize NOW!!! She did and then My phone starts ringing and it is my husband, I explain what all REALLY happened and he had to come home for a family meeting. It took 5 hours and it got nowhere. Fortunetly, she was fairly honest about what happened, except she said I was yelling at her all morning about some cookies she ate and that's why she said that to me, PALEEEZ! My husband said she was completely in the wronge, and she got upset and said she was leaving because she was again scared for her life, but she was also afraid to leave because of fear that I might do something to her things. Needless to say, she has been gone for 5 days and Hopefully she doesn't come back until she comes to move her stuff out.

 My husband was furious with her because he said to her that It took 3 years to convince me that she would never do anything like that and that she just completely made a liar out of him and validated my fear. Needless to say, he's not allowed to argue with me anymore about her NEVER seeing her grandkids again, and I am trying to get pregnant again, so she will never meet that child. I am sooo done with her. To my amazment, 2 of her other sons that have always sided with her, because they only hear her side of stories usually, got phone calls from my husband this time around and he told them what happened and theyt 10000% are on MY side. But this "long I'm pissed list" are only the things that were the MOST outragous, you all wouldn't have time for me to explain the complete last 7 1/2 years.

I'm sorry this was so long, but there was no way for you to get the full picture of her evilness without it being this way. I would not ever put her in a researched bad nursing home but I hope she gets what is comming to her for sure!!!!

---
ZZZZzzzzzzzz

---
Life is just a slow train crawling up a hill

“Life's a gas”

This is an article from a respected health website

by
Dr Bridget Fartham
Tue, 20 Jun 2000

All of us pass gas — both as burping (or belching) and as flatulence (flatus), affectionately known as “farts”.  Most gas is passed as flatulence, and as research shows, men tend to experience more compared to women.  The average person generates seven to ten litres of gas each day, which consists of carbon dioxide, oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen and small amounts of methane, most of which is reabsorbed into the blood.  Only approximately 600ml are expelled, mostly involuntarily at a very slow rate (?).  With this in mind, it is important to understand that gas formation is a normal and necessary process and indicates normal functioning of the bowel.

Where does the gas come from?  One thing that is obvious is that digestion involves "breaking things down".  Everything in food has to be broken down into small, absorbable parts in order to enter the bloodstream.  Protein must be broken into its individual amino acids, fats must be broken into fatty acids, and carbohydrates (both simple and complex) must be broken into individual glucose (or equivalent) molecules.

Flatulence occurs when a food does not break down completely in the stomach and small intestine.  As a result, the food makes it into the large intestine in an undigested state.  There the food meets up with billions of hungry bacteria — the natural "intestinal flora" we all have in our large intestine or colon.  These bacteria are happy to digest the food through a process known as fermentation, thereby producing a variety of gases mentioned above.

Hydrogen sulphide or methane gives gas its characteristic odour, while nitrogen gives it its bang.  The amount and odour of flatus, are largely accounted for by the type of bacteria we have in our guts. Different bacteria digest different kinds of carbohydrates. Therefore, factors that influence colon bacterial populations impact your gas production.  These include using antibiotics, eating yogurt or other foods with live bacterial cultures, and consuming high amounts of fibre — all of which can alter the bacterial profile in your intestines.

When people complain of "excessive gas," it is normally due to: ·  Increased intestinal motility (movement), which moves gas through the colon too rapidly to allow for normal reabsorption.

·  Aerophagia — the swallowing of air while eating or drinking, resulting in burping.  You can swallow air by eating rapidly, chewing with your mouth open or drinking beverages through straws.  Excessive air can also occur if one talks or drinks liquids when eating.

·  Excessive bacterial fermentation of food components in the bowel.

·  Increasing the fibre content of the diet can also cause a temporary increase in gas production.

· Lactose intolerance (inability to properly digest milk, cheese and other diary products due to an enzyme deficiency).  The colon bacteria happily ferment the lactose, forming gas and giving you a bloated feeling.

·  Bacterial overgrowth in the intestines (often caused by certain antibiotics).

Certain foods produce more gas than others because they contain more indigestible carbohydrates than others. Most notable are the beans and cruciferous vegetables such as cabbage, broccoli, onions, and so on.

A special type of sugar called raffinose is found in beans and, in smaller amounts, some vegetables and grains.  The human body lacks the enzyme (alpha-galactosidase) to digest this sugar, so bacteria in the colon have a feast. Flatulence from beans can be prevented or reduced by soaking the beans overnight and discarding the water, which contains much of the indigestible carbohydrates. Use fresh water to cook the beans.

In some people, eating large amounts of other carbohydrates, such as yeast breads or potato chips, can also cause gas.

Here is a list of possible culprits and some solutions to curb excess gas production: Vegetables
Beans (kidney, lima, navy); broccoli; Brussels sprouts; cabbage; cauliflower; corn; cucumber; green peppers; leeks; lentils; onions; peas (split or black-eyed); pimentos; radishes; sauerkraut; soyabeans; turnips.Fruits Apples (raw); apple juice; avocados; prune juice; raisins; sweetmelon; watermelon.

Foods high in fibre may also cause increased gas and include: ·  Wholegrain breads, cereals, bran and foods made with these products ·  Seeds, peanuts, other nuts, popcorn, legumes and coconut ·  Fruits and vegetables with skins, hulls or seeds, such as strawberries and granadillas   All fibre in the diet will produce some flatulence, especially a high-fibre diet. When increasing dietary fibre in your diet, do so gradually over a couple of weeks. This will lessen the increase of flatus, which is normally temporary.

Solutions

Eat small meals
If you tend to follow a high-fibre diet, or are particularly partial to beans, broccoli and cabbage, you are better off eating small meals rather than larger ones. By eating smaller amounts of these gas-forming foods and spreading them out throughout the day, the gas production will be less, leading to less discomfort.

Everyone is different
People vary in their reactions to foods, so don't assume that what is "gassy" for someone else will be "gassy" for you. Eliminate or go easy only on the foods that affect you personally. These foods provide essential nutrients, so should not be cut out altogether. Also, try different types of beans, vegetables and fruits. Some may be less gas-forming than others. By switching around you'll not only lessen gas production, but also improve the variety of nutrients in your diet.

Aerophagia can be avoided by: ·  eating slowly ·  chewing thoroughly and with the mouth closed ·  refraining from drinking through straws, and consuming gassy coldrinks ·  avoiding chewing gum ·  not gulping food and liquids ·  avoiding liquids during meals and ·  not talking when eating

Avoid large amounts of sorbitol and mannitol
These are sugar alcohols and are used to sweeten sugarless gum, candies and other sugar-free products. These sugar alcohols are slowly digested, so when large amounts are consumed, they are fermented by colon bacteria, causing gas and abdominal distention and discomfort.   Limit your lactose intake, or use reduced lactose dairy products if lactose intolerant. Over-the-counter lactose-enzyme products are also available at pharmacies and health shops. These products are taken together with dairy products to help you digest the lactose they contain. The digestive enzyme alpha-galactosidase
There are products on the market specifically formulated and contain the digestive enzyme alpha-galactosidase that breaks down some of these undigestible carbohydrates. This essentially stops the gas-producing bacteria in the colon and reduces the bloating and distension that trouble many people. Check out your pharmacy and see if it works for you. There are a number of herbs that are also thought to help relieve gas. Some of the best known are wild yam, parsley, celery seed tea, and peppermint or spearmint teas. Eating a peppermint after a large meal is thought to reduce gas production. The most important thing to remember is that flatulence is perfectly natural and something that everyone gets. 

However, its social lack of acceptability means that you either have to retreat to a private place to get rid of the gas (and it will not usually perform on command) or take the tablets mentioned above.

Withholding the gas that is trying to escape is unhealthy. This writer recommends letting small amounts at a time escape. In this way you will gradually reduce the build-up. Try to do this outdoors if possible and as quietly as possible as the odour might give you away. For all you residents of Alaska and other cold countries I unfortunately have no suggestions. People in Africa have much healthier digestive systems due in part to the ability to release gas into the bright African sunshine.  Perhaps portable room freshener spray might help those forced to live indoors because of the local weather conditions.

Some people have the unfortunate inability to stop the escape of gas when they bend over. Some sportsmen also have this problem. If you find that you are regularly embarrassed in your yoga classes for example you may have to think about changing your sport.

Some years ago a study was conducted on the Russian Ballet Theatre dancers.  The odour on the stage was sometimes so overwhelming that fans had to be brought in to move the pungent air away.  A doctor fortunately came to the rescue by providing parsley tablets which also assist with this problem.

Dogs too suffer from flatulence. A farting dog can be most unpleasant. Veterinary scientists recommend giving these unfortunate animals large doses of parsley capsules or large bunches of parsley if the animal will consume them.  Do not be alarmed by the characteristic green stools which may occur if you do this.  Parsley will increase the fart levels but the odour will be reduced.  Peppermint tea has also been known to help felines with fart problems. Try it – they may get used to the flavour when it is mixed with their milk.

Children usually have much healthier colons. Unfortunately, the increase in sugar consumption in the Western diet has lead to an increase in the amount of unpleasant gas released by these little charmers.  A classroom full of farting children can be most unpleasant for the teacher and in most schools open farting is a punishable offence.  However, this is not strictly fair as the younger child with an immature colon may have difficulty in restraining his fart expulsions. Teachers should bear this in mind before getting angry with a farting junior pupil.

The business environment is notorious for gas expulsion. Elderly board members, sitting in lengthy meetings, have a particularly serious problem in that they may cause themselves damage or even a heart attack by withholding gas expulsion.  Some years ago a 60-year old CEO of a top British publishing company let go of an enormous amount of gas during a board meeting and just as the rest of the directors were registering shock at this unpleasant occurrence, the CEO keeled over and died on the spot from a massive heart attack which doctors believe to have been brought on by restrained flatulence followed by the sudden rapid and enormous expulsion of withheld gas.

Hospitals have unique problems in this regard.  Patients confined to beds for lengthy periods are often embarrassed to request bedpans and may also withhold.  It is a well-known fact in nursing circles that air-conditioners must be turned up and windows opened approximately one hour after meal times in general wards.

However, as mentioned previously, gas expulsion and farting is perfectly normal and part of a healthy lifestyle.

However, its social lack of acceptability means that you either have to retreat to a private place to get rid of the gas (and it will not usually perform on command) or take the tablets mentioned above.

Withholding the gas that is trying to escape is unhealthy. This writer recommends letting small amounts at a time escape. In this way you will gradually reduce the build-up. Try to do this outdoors if possible and as quietly as possible as the odour might give you away. For all you residents of Alaska and other cold countries I unfortunately have no suggestions. People in Africa have much healthier digestive systems due in part to the ability to release gas into the bright African sunshine.  Perhaps portable room freshener spray might help those forced to live indoors because of the local weather conditions.

Some people have the unfortunate inability to stop the escape of gas when they bend over. Some sportsmen also have this problem. If you find that you are regularly embarrassed in your yoga classes for example you may have to think about changing your sport.

Some years ago a study was conducted on the Russian Ballet Theatre dancers.  The odour on the stage was sometimes so overwhelming that fans had to be brought in to move the pungent air away.  A doctor fortunately came to the rescue by providing parsley tablets which also assist with this problem.

Dogs too suffer from flatulence. A farting dog can be most unpleasant. Veterinary scientists recommend giving these unfortunate animals large doses of parsley capsules or large bunches of parsley if the animal will consume them.  Do not be alarmed by the characteristic green stools which may occur if you do this.  Parsley will increase the fart levels but the odour will be reduced.  Peppermint tea has also been known to help felines with fart problems. Try it – they may get used to the flavour when it is mixed with their milk.

Children usually have much healthier colons. Unfortunately, the increase in sugar consumption in the Western diet has lead to an increase in the amount of unpleasant gas released by these little charmers.  A classroom full of farting children can be most unpleasant for the teacher and in most schools open farting is a punishable offence.  However, this is not strictly fair as the younger child with an immature colon may have difficulty in restraining his fart expulsions. Teachers should bear this in mind before getting angry with a farting junior pupil.

The business environment is notorious for gas expulsion. Elderly board members, sitting in lengthy meetings, have a particularly serious problem in that they may cause themselves damage or even a heart attack by withholding gas expulsion.  Some years ago a 60-year old CEO of a top British publishing company let go of an enormous amount of gas during a board meeting and just as the rest of the directors were registering shock at this unpleasant occurrence, the CEO keeled over and died on the spot from a massive heart attack which doctors believe to have been brought on by restrained flatulence followed by the sudden rapid and enormous expulsion of withheld gas.

Hospitals have unique problems in this regard.  Patients confined to beds for lengthy periods are often embarrassed to request bedpans and may also withhold.  It is a well-known fact in nursing circles that air-conditioners must be turned up and windows opened approximately one hour after meal times in general wards.

However, as mentioned previously, gas expulsion and farting is perfectly normal and part of a healthy lifestyle.

2 + 1 = 3

2 + 2 = 4

6 + 9 = ?

---
I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

“Life's a gas”

This is an article from a respected Australian health website

by
Dr Bridget Fartham
Tue, 20 Jun 2000

All of us pass gas — both as burping (or belching) and as flatulence (flatus), affectionately known as “farts”.  Most gas is passed as flatulence, and as research shows, men tend to experience more compared to women.  The average person generates seven to ten litres of gas each day, which consists of carbon dioxide, oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen and small amounts of methane, most of which is reabsorbed into the blood.  Only approximately 600ml are expelled, mostly involuntarily at a very slow rate (?).  With this in mind, it is important to understand that gas formation is a normal and necessary process and indicates normal functioning of the bowel.

Where does the gas come from?  One thing that is obvious is that digestion involves "breaking things down".  Everything in food has to be broken down into small, absorbable parts in order to enter the bloodstream.  Protein must be broken into its individual amino acids, fats must be broken into fatty acids, and carbohydrates (both simple and complex) must be broken into individual glucose (or equivalent) molecules.

Flatulence occurs when a food does not break down completely in the stomach and small intestine.  As a result, the food makes it into the large intestine in an undigested state.  There the food meets up with billions of hungry bacteria — the natural "intestinal flora" we all have in our large intestine or colon.  These bacteria are happy to digest the food through a process known as fermentation, thereby producing a variety of gases mentioned above.

Hydrogen sulphide or methane gives gas its characteristic odour, while nitrogen gives it its bang.  The amount and odour of flatus, are largely accounted for by the type of bacteria we have in our guts. Different bacteria digest different kinds of carbohydrates. Therefore, factors that influence colon bacterial populations impact your gas production.  These include using antibiotics, eating yogurt or other foods with live bacterial cultures, and consuming high amounts of fibre — all of which can alter the bacterial profile in your intestines.

When people complain of "excessive gas," it is normally due to: ·  Increased intestinal motility (movement), which moves gas through the colon too rapidly to allow for normal reabsorption.

·  Aerophagia — the swallowing of air while eating or drinking, resulting in burping.  You can swallow air by eating rapidly, chewing with your mouth open or drinking beverages through straws.  Excessive air can also occur if one talks or drinks liquids when eating.

·  Excessive bacteria