Unfortunately, owing to the nature of the earth's gravity sucking upward as well as downward, these people just REFUSE to fall off the bottom of the world like they should. So we are stuck with them and their fucked up ways.
First - They drive on the wrong fucking side of the road. Now that would be fine if they stayed the fuck in Australia where they belong, but noooooooo.... occasionally one of them moves over here and next thing you know you have some stupid kangaroo fucker coming up the wrong side of the highway. I worked with a guy once who was from Australia and he was so dumb that every day for a good month he'd walk to the parking lot and get in his car and notice the steering wheel is gone. Then he'd call plant security and file a fucking theft report, then someone would have to come out and show him he got in the wrong side of the car again. Then you'd have to listen to ten minutes of "ah thaaanx mate ah nevaahh thought ta look theyyyy". FUCK!!! SHUT UP AND GO HOME!!
Second - The Seekers. That's right. The Seekers. While England was giving us the Beatles. Canada giving us the Guess Who. U.S.A the Beach Boys. And even fucking Ireland managed to choke up Van Morrison and Them. What was Australia giving us? Fucking Gay Ass Seekers bullshit. What the fuck is up with that??? Granted it was fronted by the very shaggable Judith Durham, but they were still gay. I'll bet PoPo has all their albums.
Third - Kiwi. How many times do I have to go to some party and have someone say "you should try this, it's just wonderful, it's imported from Australia." Well fuck me then! It has texture of that slop at the bottom of dr. kevorkian's operating room garbage pale. I don't want it! Go take your kiwi and fuck yourself!
Fourth - Having to be corrected by Australian ex-patriots every time you say the word alligator. "No, it's called a crocodile". Fuck you with your crocodiles! Which brings me to...
Fifth - Paul Hogan. It's NOT FUNNY ANYMORE. The whole Crocodile Dundee franchise. It's old. Stop it. No more.
Sixth - Untitled. No explanation required.
Seventh - Kangaroos. Thank god they can't swim. That's all I can say. They make lousy hamburger meat substitute as well. And they aren't as sexy as sheep to a drunk farmer.
Eighth - Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport. Doh!
That's all for now!
JustRage
http://www.justrage.com/article.php/20080428104339517