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Anonymous raged 1 year ago —— Earlier this week, I was taking a pleasant walk home from school. When I got to the crosswalk, I pressed the button and waited for the little man to turn green, like a good little pedestrian. When he did, I began crossing the street. And then...
Holy-mother-jesus-mary-and-joseph-shit-fire! I was forced to jump at least a foot to the right in a single bound as a dull green vehicle abruptly decided to ignore the red light. Thankfully, no cars hit me and the only injuries I suffered were a very bruised leg and a severe case of oh-my-fucking-god-i-think-i-just-pissed-my-pants syndrome.
I quickly recovered and went around the offending vehicle and continued to cross the street. Now here is what really irked me about the situation. The man in the car glared at me as if I was the one who had just butt-raped traffic laws. He then sped off as soon as I was past him (The light was still red, mind you. Thankfully he didn't cause any accidents).
I find it especially entertaining that he had come to a full stop until I was right in front of him. I must have killed his daughter in a past life, or something.


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  •     headon  1 year ago
    Earlier this week, I was taking a pleasant shit at school. When I got to the toilet, I sat on the toilet seat and waited for the little shit to come out of my asshole, like a good little pedestrian. When it did, I wiped and ejected myself from the toilet seat, and proceeded to flush. And then...

    Holy-mother-jesus-mary-and-joseph-shit-fire! I was forced to jump at least a foot to the right in a single bound as the toilet abruptly decided to ignore the shit and overflow. Thankfully, no shit or piss hit me and the only injuries I suffered were a very bruised leg and a severe case of oh-my-fucking-god-my-shit-and-piss-is-all-over-this-bathroom syndrome.

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  •     headon  1 year ago
    I quickly recovered and went around to the sinks and continued to wash my hands. Now here is what really irked me about the situation. The person that walked in as I was washing my hands glared at me as if I was the one who had just butt-raped the bathroom. He then sped off as soon as I left the bathroom (There were two stalls in this bathroom, mind you. Thankfully he didn't cause any accidents).

    I find it especially entertaining that he had come to a full stop until I left the bathroom. I must have raped his sister in a past life, or something.

    -untitled's November 24, 2010 Diary Entry.

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  •     Bugsy29  1 year ago
    Lmfao

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  •     Anonymous  1 year ago
    AGAHAHAHAHA

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  •     Anonymous  1 year ago
    Headon, you have outdone yourself this time.

    Bravo! Encore!

    KPissed - Who knows how to give credit where credit is due.

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  •     Anonymous  1 year ago
    Dear OP,

    Next time some vision-challenged, chronologically enhanced, scofflaw, driving an environmentally unfriendly vehicle nearly causes an untimely termination to your vital essence (not to mention causing you to release bodily fluids), try to get the license plate number and report this person who

    disregards the law and endangers the public.

    KPissed - Purveyor of sound advice

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  •     Anonymous  1 year ago
    Translation of above comment into everyday, politically incorrect English . . .

    Dear OP,

    Next time some blind-as-a-fucking-bat, wheezing old octagenarian dipstick, driving his 1970 fucking Buick Century (same as his age) Sherman Tank model gas-guzzler almost takes you out (not to mention causing you to piss yourself), try getting his license plate number and report the old fuckwad for almost killing you in the crosswalk.

    KPissed - Purveyor of sound advice AND translations

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  •     KING SoulTaker 6  1 year ago
    LOL!!!!!

    ~Good to see you my friend he cries with good cheer from the ROYAL House Of Blues~

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  •     KPissed  1 year ago
    Glad to bring a smile to you King Soul Taker 6. KPissed

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  •     pillows45  1 year ago
    LOL.

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  •     TrueThat  1 year ago
    You had to jump at least a foot to the right? Jesus Christ man, how did you survive that? I can't imagine the horror you faced.

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  •     Anonymous  1 year ago
    There's a reason god gave us a large fucking forehead.

    Headbutt that old cocksucker next time and see if that improves his driving!

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  •     Anonymous  1 year ago
    i hate drivers who think the road is only for them -__-

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