The phone call was urgent, my old campanion told me that I had to make it to 75 Forestkent Road before nightfall. I have never dressed so quickly in all my life, I threw my best robes on and I prepared my bag. I left my dog in the house, which I knew I shouldn't have done, but I had to move fast.

When I reached 75 Forestkent street, I was rushed into the house by my old friend. Never before had I seen him look so tired and ill. "Priest Paul" He said to me, holding me by the arm. "This boy has been down in the depths of darkness for weeks now and he is only getting worse"

"I thought it was your Jacob, David?" I asked.

"He is like a son to me" Was his reply. "I have known his family for decades, I would expect you to help him as if he was my own, Priest Paul" he said.

"The mother?"

"She has fled to the chapel, she has left him under our care"

"very well then" I said. "Let me see him" I walked through the dark hallway and opened the door to the boy's room. At once I noticed the foul stench but I sensed no evil in the room. The little boy lay asleep on his bed and looked so peaceful. Slowly Priest David and I walked around the bed towards the little boy.

"The smell is his urine"

"I gathered...what are the signs?" I asked as I held my robe to my nose and stared at the little boy's face. My friend sighed deeply.

"Speaking in tongues, spitting at both, me and his mother, trying to eat his own flesh, screaming loudly when I open the drapes and at night you hear him whispering in all differnt languages... I translated a few of the words that he said in ancient Arabic.."

"Well?"

"So far, I have "he who does not follow, shall finish last and cease to be.." Priest David put down his notepad and looked at me. "I have sat with this boy for three nights now, I can tell you now, the words that are coming from the boy are not his own."

I took all of this in and was then very wary about approaching the boy but the good Lord had taught me to fear no evil, so I sat down beside the boy's face and ignored the fear and doubt that was inside of me. I touched the boy's head and found it hot to the touch. "Bring me my bag, David"  I said. I then started to chant.

Priest David rushed off and returned with my bag. Still I continued to chant. As I reached down to open my bag, the boy's eyes shot wide open and he spat at me. I cried and fell back in shock. Priest David then Picked up his Old testament and began to read from it loudly. 

The boy snarled at me like a beast and in a harsh course voice it screamed at me "Where is your God for this young boy, PRIEST?"

The thing resisted the bounds that kept him, its snarls and roars filled the room. Priest David tires d to chant louder but his voice kept cracking with fear.

I sat up slowly in shock and said "Enough. It is time to do this catholic style..."

I opened my bag and took out a 14inch dildo."Priest David?" I said "Remove this boy's pants."

For hour the beast fought against us. But with the power of the almighty and the will of my holy sword, the beast fled from the young boy.The mother thanked us as we left and we both made our way back to my car.

"How did you know that ancient method would work?" Priest David asked me, awe sparkling in his eyes.

"Well" I started, as I fastened my seat belt. "Beasts don't like to be assfucked, apparently only whores do but I'm guessing many of them don't like it either."

"I still have much to learn" he muttered as we drove home.

.......

So I say, make me an atheist, go right ahead, and he tried his damndest, but the shit just ain't appetizing to me!  Why the pisshell would you turn down a free offer of eternal ecstasy if it's fucking FREE!?  That doesn't make any fucking sense to me.  He said, there is no eternal esctasy and I said, how the fuck do you know?  I said that.  He couldn't answer it, so he just laid into me, like I'm the cunt in all this.

Let me fucking tell you how I feel about atheism and atheists.  They're a bunch of self-righteous goddamn assmunches.  They think they got a good bead on everything, absolutely everything.  You name the subject, they start in on it like a motherfucking scientist, and then look at you like, whatcha gawn say to that, shitcrank?

Well these fucking cockturds can suck the shit outta their mothers' cunts is wht they can do!  Goddamn em!  I ask this dickwizard, "Why don't you believe in God?" and he says cause there's no fucking proof!  He said fucking.  I said do you believe in aliens?  He said, of course, the universe is fucking huge.

I said that ain't fucking proof of dickshit, and IT AIN'T!  Fact is, he doesn't believe in a goddamn thing, because he demands proof first, and you don't fucking believe in your computer do you?  NO! CAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S THERE!!  There's no fucking need to believe!  If you demand proof of anything before you believe in it, YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN ANYTHING! bitchtard!  Know what else we call that?  Nihilism!  Nihilism is fucking idiotic, brainless ass horseshit.  Shit that's past it's prime! 

Just a fatherfucking excuse for pseudointellectual cuntdorks to spout off about shit they just read in a celebrity interview!  Who gives half a mousefuck what Jodie Foster thinks of God?  Fuck Jodie Foster!  And fuck Lance Armstrong, too!  Fuck his balls, fuck his tour de fuckin france victoires, I'm tired of those asscocks. 

Then atheists always fall back on their pet fuckin defense: God is the cause of all the world's violence.  NO HE ISN'T!!  GOD DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK IN GODDAMN HELL WHY YOU GO OFF AND FIGHT AND KILL!!!  Okay!? Can ya deal with that?!  Every single person who ever got killed got killed for the same fucking reason: the killer enjoyed hating him, and enjoyed doing it!!   No other motivation is needed!  You can't fucking whine that there's no God because people kill in his name.  That ain't got piss to do with whether he's there or not.  And believing in him's not gonna make me run out of my house and kill anyone who DISAGREES WITH ME!!! 

I'd rather be the bastard you hate for believing in God than the chickenshit fucking pussy assjack running with atheism right now while it's a fucking internet meme, smoking Nietzsche's dick!! 

God is not real, you fucking inbred retards, there is no sense believing in something that's not there (and don't give me that "you cant see air, but you believe in it" bullshit, yes we CAN see it at an atomic level, plus we know its there because we fucking breathe it).  Some old assholes decided they want a ton of power and money (see: the catholic church / the Vatican), so we spawn from ancient allegory to fuel the hateful lying cults of today.  They preach lies and they deceive "scientifically" (see: Kirk Cameron - fucking asshole / Ray Comfort - mustachioed ass-itch) when science proves / disproves perceived reality without a social agenda.

"Scientists are liars", I hear, from you fucking stupid asshole religious cunts... and you can NEVER prove your "point" because it doesn't exist.  You are all afraid that you will lose your hold on the US, but it was never yours to have, twats.  Don't fucking tell me this is a christian nation, its not!  Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Payne, Ben Franklin were deist at best.  There is supposed to be a separation, in which the church deserves fuck all (NOTHING) in the government and I hear fucktards like my dad claim that "government needs to stay out of the church", well, I don't see where that is happening (except when the LAW comes into play) and it goes both ways you ignorant fuckwit. 

The Jefferson Bible was "the doctrine of Jesus by removing sections of the New Testament containing supernatural aspects as well as perceived misinterpretations he believed had been added by the Four Evangelists."  Thomas Payne wrote The Age of Reason (read it)... Sounds real religious to me, fuckface.

And the whole "In GOD We Trust" thing printed on money came into play in "the act of May 18, 1908, is most often cited as requiring the motto (even though the cent and nickel were excluded from that law, and the nickel did not have the motto added until 1938). Since 1938, all coins have borne the motto."  It was there since the "goody little two shoes" days of some kind of christian agenda sweeping the fucking nation.

Fuck you, Christians and religious fucks!  You are fucking horrible.  You are trying to butt into every aspect of life, including trampling countless human rights.  This country is going into the shitter because you aren't allowed to be nonreligious or atheist in office (at least in 11 states its illegal, and most other places its a huge no-no) and we are fighting holy wars for some old smelly place that the Muslims and Jews also think is "theirs".

Fuck you for brainwashing my parents, fuck you for making me hate them, fuck you for spreading your backwards agenda to the dimwitted majority.

FUCK YOU!

On a personal level it has caused a lot of unnecessary grief. Having Catholicism inflicted on me from birth resulted in me becoming an extremely socially-awkward young man. No sexual experiences in school whatsoever. It took a lot to overcome an irrational fear of sex that my parents’ religion caused. Not only the religious dogma but the mainstream media had a big hand in it as well. Every single cartoon, drama, sitcom, film or even shitty soap had me convinced that girls absolutely hated sex by default and convincing one to get in bed with you was like climbing Everest. And if, on very rare occasions, they just happened to be willing it meant there was something very 'wrong' with her and to avoid. Fuck that bullshit!!

I was like that pathetic Irish character in that show 'Coupling' who had this nightmare that taking a chance and trying to kiss a girl would result in her and everyone being disgusted with him, his mother being called to scold him and the police to take him away. I found it quite funny at the time but after thinking for a minute and seeing the parallels it was just depressing.

Many of my close school friends were the exact same and were actually quite dull to hang around with, no wild parties for us, oh no! As much as I (and probably they secretly did too) wanted to pursue new social and sexual experiences, they just didn't have the balls to. The nature of social awkwardness meant simply getting some new friends wasn't easy either. I found it hard enough not to come off as a complete pussy to non-religious people. This was back when I still believed in all the nonsense that came out of the priests gob. Thankfully since then I've seen the light and have gradually become more adjusted and happy. It's only memories now but looking back on it always boils the blood and is the main reason why I probably come off as a complete militant atheist to religious people. I'm raging about what it did to me and what it still currently doing to all humans.

Fucking cunts need to think!!

Rot in fucking hell you gaping cunt bitch. Get cancer and die, but do it fast so I don't have to look at your ugly skank face any more.  Fat bitch.

Would your God condone such behaviour? Probably not, bitch.

Paganism is the FIRST religion of the world!!!

For those of you good Christians who pray to saints - most of your "saints" are just the original Pagan Goddesses and Gods with new names that have a "St." added to them.   St. Bridgid of Ireland is a case in point.

When you paint Easter Eggs, you are painting Pagan fertility symbols.

Those summertime nights around a blazing bonfire, singing songs and dancing, is a replication of Pagan observances of Midsummer.

The Summer and Winter Solstices and the Spring and Fall Equinoxes were originally celebrated by Pagans to mark the changes in the year.

All those Octoberfests and Harvest Home celebrations are Pagan celebrations you are still carrying out today.

And the ultimate sacred Pagan observance of Samhain is your Halloween - without all the fake witches and gruesome decorations and bullshit.

That Christmas Yule Log you burn and all the mistletoe and all the decorating of trees are just Pagan customs you copied.

So just remember next time you start acting all holier-than-thou about observing YOUR holidays, just where you fucking got them from!!!

Proud to be Pagan

The reason I am less than enthusiastic about church has to do with all the bullshit I see and hear at church these days.

The worst example is how women are chastized for any extramarital sex issues, while the men get off (pun definitely intended).  If a man screws around, he gets a little private talking to in the pastor's office.  A little chat just between two guys.  Then he gets a dose of forgiveness and a free pass to "go and sin no more".  The women get a sort of trial in front of tribunal of three men, who ask detailed questions about her "lapse into sin".  Then she has to do go through a year long punishment period where she can't take the sacrement, and she's excluded from any church activities.  They might as well make her wear a scarlet letter.

What a fucked up double standard!

Second complaint I have is how they always ask for more and more money.  I know they have to keep the heat and lights on in the church and the pastor's residence.  I know they have a mortgage on the church property.  And I am aware that the church helps the poor. 

All of that is great and I know that's where my "tithe offering" money goes and its ok by me.   I wish they could just for once spit it out and admit it that GOD does not want the money - the church needs it to keep going.

So please, for the love of God, treat men and women equal and be honest about what our money offerings are for.   And no BULLSHIT!!!

AMEN

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I don’t give a FUCK that you may be Islamic, Jewish, Hindu or any other religion you can think of.

YOU have no FUCKING right to stand on <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />U.S. soil and declare your insistence that this country should be more FUCKING tolerant of you piss ant MOTHERFUCKERS.

This country, without my approval, has been the most tolerant country in the world and YOU, YOU little slime ball……..YOU dare have the audacity to suggest that WE need to be more understanding, more tolerant, more accommodating. HA!

The ONLY reason your sorry ass is still on U.S. soil is because there are still a large number of Americans that don’t realize your true intent; which those of us

that have a brain KNOW is to dominate America and rule by the fucked up law of Sharia.

Giving the benefit of doubt is what makes America so great and at the same time vulnerable to ASSHOLES like believers of Islam.

Americans most often give doubt, even in the face of facts which unfortunately, allows the criminals of the world to perpetrate their evil plans, such as the hateful, unforgivable, abominable, pathetic, fucked-up religion of Islam.

Of the religions of the world, there is none so vile as Islam.

It is the ONLY religion, (cult) on the planet that will not tolerate ANY other religion.

Don’t talk to me about being tolerant!! I KNOW your plans, I KNOW your designs

Too many Americans will give you doubt, But there are those of us that KNOW your true intent and I will gladly give my life LONG before I’ll bow to your FUCKED-UP Mohammad.

Islam is the most hateful cult on Earth and it HAS to be stamped out at all costs.

There is no bacteria nor virus that has threaten the world to such an extent.

Fuck to the silent muslims that dance in the street at the news of more infidels being killed.

Fuck to the so-called ‘extremists’ of islam.

Mostly, Fuck Mohammad himself!!

For one thing, she said she was not a witch.  For another thing, people who are witches and pagans generally are proud to admit it. Unless, that is, they fear the persecution that usually comes as a result of that admission.

When the hell are people in this fucking country that prides itself on religious tollerance, so much that we have it in our fucking Constitution, going to STOP BASHING PEOPLE WHO ARE PAGANS?

What a wonderful history of religious tolerance and acceptance we have on our national track record.

First, we persecuted Native Americans, not just because they wer of another race, but also as "Godless savages".

Then we persecuted Catholics because most of the founding fathers were of English origin and most of the high class Brits detest Catholics and call them "Papists".

Next the Mormons got driven west and their leader was lynched.

Onward to the Chinese Exclusion act (see Native Americans above).

The Japanese got put away in "relocation" facilities and had all their property confiscated during WWII because of race and religion being not white or Christian.

And who can forget the McCarthy era when Jews were ostracized and could not get a room in a hotel, or a job based on being Jews (and this only a few years after the Holocaust).

So when will the people of our great nation stop hiding their fucking heads in the sand and WAKE THE FUCK UP?????

Witches and pagans are just people just like everyone else who happen to have a different religion.  

If people who claim to be Christians are really following the teachings of Jesus Christ, they would show love and not hate to everyone.

KPissed - Pissed off at all religious intolerance!  And proud of it!