fedup2010 raged 2 years ago ——
So, my spidy senses went off about a week ago. I knew something was up... but couldn't quite get a handle on it. Then last Sunday, the idiot (aka my husband) goes out to a banquet and doesn't come home until 5am. 5 am.... what the fuck! He thinks that this is ok. NOT!!!!!!
anyway, then I started to dig. seems like he had this thing going with someone who new he was married (Sonya Mxxxxette).
She oo'd and ah'd about how handsome he was, how great of a time she had with him.... how the kiss was amazing... how she can't wait for next time- so he can eat off her... to top it off she sent him nude photos...
I confront him, he denies denies denies until I show him the stuff and he is more upset that I signed into his fucking facebook then what I'm accusing him of... so now I demand his email password and man what the fuck do I find! more stuff...
At this point, I'm seeing black and all I want to do is clock him one.
He vehemently says that nothing went on b/w them and that the other shit in his email are only pictures nothing else.
I feel slightly responsible. I'm overworked, tired and stretched to the limits so my sex drive has tanked over the last several years. I do alot and get little to no help from him, so I get annoyed that he comes home, he eats and then expects me to be ready to go.
our intimacy is non existant, we don't talk anymore unless it is to harm at one another. He is condescending and makes me feel like a joke.
I get the impression that he is here just b/c we are married and that is the right thing to do. He says that he Loves me and that he is sooo sorry about crossing that line again. (b/c this happened earlier on in our relationship when things were going south)
I think that we, kids and I would be better off but then I look at my budget and even though I could carry everything, it would be extremely tight and unbearable.
I have no clue right now how I feel about him, I think that today it is contempt and disgust.
The man who told me that he would only get married once and would be faithful until we were dead.... lied.
he wants me to go to a banquet with him this weekend, I don't really want to go, it will feel like someone there will know, and I will be made the fool again. Not to mention that I might take one too many drinks and decide that it is ok to clobber him.
I hate him right now. How do I get over this? Do we ever really get over this?
FUCK
Part of me wants to go out and pick some random guy and fuck him. But what would that accomplish?
ah, I'm so messed up right now.