now now true that.. its time we came clean.
Okay guys of JR, we sort of have a confession to make....here goes..
FUCK
i cant do it ! they'l blame it all on me, you say it! shhhhh ! just tell
them what happened and say it was your idea.....okay okay..for fucks
sake.
we know what happned to fucktard.. my memory is a little hazy, but it went something like this.
Me and True that had a plan. we invited Fucktard to the pub for a
drink, he said no, but i told him there was a special on burgers, true
that backed me up by confirming it was true.
giggling, we hid in the bushes behind his house, 10 minutes later, when
the fat bastard finally made his way down the stairs and out of the
door, we jumped him.
We were stressed out because Jr was quickly sliding down the shitter and
fucktard wasnt delivering any more laughs, we needed some sort of
thrill. so we kind of.....sat on the bastard...so he...couldnt move and
then forced 12 viagra down his throat.
yes...me and TT here, raped fucktard, True that was slapping him in the
face and ridding him, it was the first time i had seen her laugh in a
long time... but it was too much for the old bastard and when he came,
he started to have a heart attack.
We panicked and tried to help him....okay i sort of smacked his head off
the pavement BUT IT ONLY WAS JUST BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE'D FEEL BETTER
AFTER A GOOD SLEEP!
he didnt move, slowly his eyes started to roll back in his head and gave out one little last weak cry......."weaksauce bitches"
We now had a problem, we couldnt lift the bastard, i took a quick swig of vodka and said "we're fucked"
Suddenly Untitled came running out from no where and screamed " i knew
it, i sensed it! its finally happened!!" tears of happiness were rolling
down his pink rosey cheeks.
to be honest untitled wasnt much help, afterall his arms were as thin as
my ciggarette, but still we kept trying... we had to. Headon saw it
too, only he just stopped when he saw us. looked at us, then at fucktard
lying there, with blood comming out from his potato-mash head. Then
looked back at us and continued walking.
Just when we were about to give up hope and do a runner...it was then
that i suddenly smelt a very familiar smell...what is that ? is
that.....WEED !!
a huge hazy cloud pulled up beside us on the road, there was King soul. "you guys need a hand ?"
Fucktard was finaly lifted and safely in the boot, only it kind of made
the car tilt back quite a bit. Me True That and untitled sat in King
soul's car, he kindly passed round an already made spliff and i offered
my bottle around. Untitled kept catching my eye cos he was all giddy and
twitchy..."oh my god, i cant beleive we are doing this!"
true that - i know, relax. we just got to get rid of this fucker and pronto.
Untitled - "no i mean we are in an actual car!...driving! and we have
drugs and alcohol! Cant beleive i'm finaly hanging around with you's !!!
i've been waiting for soo long ! oooOOhhhh
King soul - who the fuck is this guy ?
I leaned over and kindly opened the door on pencil-dick's side, and
then gave him a good push that sent him flying out from the speeding
car. We heard him scream "call meee !"
Now we were heading to the harbour were we would dump ol fucktard and
his soiled jumbo panties in the ocean. I stayed back and stared at my
hand for a while, while True that and King soul slid his body over to
the edge.
King soul was about to give the last boot that would make a splash, when
suddenly a huge shark lifted itself up from the water and grabbed
fucktard with it's huge jaws.
True that - guess that solves that problem.
we started to get back in the car when we heard a voice say "FOR FUCKS SAKE MAN, I'M SPOSED TO BE ON A DIET !!
and that was that, our music loud and our singing louder, we drove off
into the sunset getting high and pissed, the once king was gone.
and that my friends is what happened to fucktard.
THEE END
------
:) that was fun lol
nite nite
x
