I know you have the right to use the road, too but please, Get a Frigging Clue. Do not ride three or four abreast during rush hour traffic. Do not swerve out in front of me at any time because cars tend to be big machines and can hurt if they collide with a human. Do not attempt to use your cell, drink a soda or do anything that involves you ignoring traffic and weaving all over the road. Is that really too much to ask?

It never fails to amaze me how women can't seem to go to work without bringing numerous and various bags with them.
As I watch these bitches make their way across the parking lot, I am reminded of one of those movies showing poor immigrants or refugees stumbling along with whatever they could carry strapped to their backs and hanging around their necks.
First they have the HANDBAG. This vital accessory is about the size of a fucking steamer trunk and has to weigh at least ten pounds. The make-up alone must weigh at least five pounds.
Then there's the LUNCH BAG. Since these bitches are always on some fucking diet, it defies logic that they should be carrying a lunch bag the size of a pillowcase. I mean what the fuck do they have in there? Their refrigerator?
Next is what I call the SUITCASE. This is a bag they carry extrax clothing and shoes in. Walking shoes for their lunch hour walk (when they are walking instead of eating everything in the fucking LUNCH BAG). Extra sweaters in case it gets cold. Extra stockings in case they get a run. Extra hair equipment and accessories, including a mirror, a hot curler set, and one of those hair dryers you sit under. And of course there's all the fingernail repair stuff too. A cracked nail is a fucking disaster on the order of a tsunami wave, and every bitch in the office has to offer either sympathy, a professional diagnosis of the nail issue, or at least a fingernail story of their own with the poor victim.
And then their are all the OTHER BAGS. These bags contain, but are not limited to, the following items:
1. A pillow for their chair that allows them to waste a full ten minutes per "work" hour adjusting it to just the right position.
2. A desk fan in case it gets too hot.
3. A heat wrap in case it gets too cold.
4. Snacks (the ones that don't fit into the lunch pillowcase).
5. A half gallon of water.
6. Disposable toilet seat covers (see item 5 above).
7. A charger for the cell phone they spend half the day chatting on.
8. Needlepoint or other craft to do at lunch time when they are not using the extra walking shoes from the SUITCASE because thye are not walking at lunchtime.
9. The latest best selling romance novel or women's magazines. This is so they can stay "current" with world news stories like the one about new hope for brittle fingernail syndrom sufferers.
10. Pictures of their kids. To remind them of why they are "working".
11. Holiday decorations for the office. Cards for any occasion. Calendars full of hair appointments, etc.
12. Any other fucking thing a woman can possibly carry in a bag. Like the head of John the Baptist.
And if the bitch has even a slight medical condition of any kind, she has to carry an array of pharmaceuticals that would put a drugstore to shame.
I guess they need all these bags in case their old man locks them out of the fucking house for being BAG LADIES!!!

MOTHER FUCKER!!!! STOP CHEATING ME!!!! I am fucking SICK OF YOU AND YOUR STUPID TRICKS!!!

I can't believe something I spent a few hundred dollars on to get fit and maybe get some body movement is starting to PISS ME OFF!!!! Why is it when I'm playing baseball you confuse me by throwing slow balls and then FUCKING FAST BALLS!!! And not only that, my team is absolute BULLSHIT!!!! They can't even catch a ball for CRAP!!!!

And boxing... How many times do I have to throw a bloody punch BEFORE IT FUCKING RESPONDS?????? BY THE TIME I THROW ONE I'VE ALREADY LOST 7 EIGTHS OF MY STRENGTH!!!

So Nintendo, here's a big royal FUUUUUUUCK YOU!! Take your cheating A.I bullshit and CRAM IT!! I used to love this game but now I just want to set the console on FREAKING FIRE!!!

Dear husband,you cannot imagine the joy inside me listening to my family praise you and your wonderfulness! My heart bursts with pride as your friends go on and on at your intellect and unshakable loyalty!The way you stand beside your perfect mother in church is almost too beautiful for my heathen eyes to bear...you fucking gold wrapped turd of a man you.Those people don't know you like I do, do they pervykins? They don't know you like to choke a bitch out during sex do they altar boy? They don't know you have to beat a woman down to feel like a big boy huh? You are a farce a big fat lie,makes me sick how you act in public sweetness and light then morph into a choking butt fucking log of crap behind closed doors.You suck beyond anything I thought possible,you are misery personified.I am stupid myself for staying this long but DAMMIT this was round two and I just wanted to be a good old fashioned pie baking housewife but FUCK no,same old shit different asshole.Really bad thing dear husband im STILL too good for you,im absolutely stunning physically.I married you dear husband because I thought an ugly man would be grateful and kind,maybe some are dear husband but your ugly goes to the core.Im leaving,im tired,im starting to lose myself.You had a beautiful,caring,wife that only wanted to please you "within reason".Now you have that stinky turtle you love so much and your mom...enjoy.

SC Gov. Mark Sanford get your ass back to work! I know you're a bit pissed over our state not suffering quite enough for you but tough titty you still DO NOT GET FOUR DAYS TO SIMPLY VANISH.Any other job you simply shake off for four days you would be fired from and honestly it should apply to you as well,"not that you do that much anyway"the fact still remains our state should not be paying you to go gather your thoughts and scratch your mad place!Hey here is an idea to save what little face you have left,revamp our public assistance! Shake loose all the ones sitting at home too "bipolar"to work,or the ones who pop out fresh kiddos to bump up the WIC grocery budget?Yeah not nearly as cool as dragging your butt up the Appalachian trail,"Butthurt Mountian" as it has been dubbed now, but still Gov.Sandford it IS your JOB and you should be happy you still have one not many of us do.

So my husband is drunk again and his fucked up obnoxious friends are drunk here. They are hanging on the back porch and and peeing behind the garage. I hate this life, I am looking for a solution to get out of this awful marriage I have because my husband puts his friends and his alcohol first.
I need a car and a job, in which order makes no difference...I am going to look for a job next week and I don't care if I have to take the city bus or walk, I just need to get out.

We have this fucking cat. Every night the fucking cat tries to sleep on my head. When I turn or move, the fucking cat launches himself off my head by digging his claws in brace himself for the jump.
When I get up the little furry fucker lashes out from under the bed and claws my feet and ankels. My living bleeding flesh!
When I go to the bathroom the little bastard is lying in wait for me. He hides behind the clothes hamper even though its against the wall and I don't know how he fits in back there. Anyhow he jumps out from behind the frigging hamper and lands in my lap while I'm on the fucking throne. Of course, in order for him to hold on he has to cling to my living bleeding flesh.
And the other PERSON who lives in this house, the LADY OF THE HOUSE, loves this little shit ball of fur. This same PERSON has coverd the bathroom sink with a skirt of some fabric. WTF? Why the fuck a sink needs to wear a skirt is beyond my understanding. But the fucking cat hides under this thing and jumps out once again landing in my lap while I'm on the throne!!! I mean he comes this close to getting the family jewels!
Last week the little fucker managed to get into the clothes dryer. I passed the laundry area and the litte cocksucker jumped out and attacked me!!! I had thoughts of putting the cat in the dryer and starting it up, but it reminded me of Hitler putting Jews in the gas chamber. Its a gas dryer too.
I hope the hell SOMEONE gets a clue and does something about this fucking cat before I commit some kind of atrocity.
FUCK YOU MR. TIGGER and maybe fuck you to the OTHER PERSON who lives in this house.

My sister is only two years younger then me and is a real problem.

This is not the typical rant of siblings not getting along this is a rant about Hell's very own crack-whore. It all starts with a disgusting, scum filled sack of bile that some how took the name of my sister (half sister if we get technical) then forward all the typical BS you get from trouble teens and let's go to the drugs. alcohal, and sex. Lots and lots of sex. Unhealthy sex, freak fetishes, multiple guys, and the best part is it gets taped and photgraphed. One time it was actually on my mother's own personal camera that was stolen out of her purse!

We hate you all. We all wish you were fucking dead. We hate the very fact that you're smoking an illegal, addictive, and harmful drug and don't care. We hate everything you stand for. We wish you were all fucking dead. We would love to have you fucking rot in prison. We are tired of you destroying American society. We want to put an end to your sorry existence.

Sincerely,

Everyone that does not smoke pot

If there is a god, he will "lead my ex to the light" and get him the hell off this planet. In all my days, I have never encountered such an evil scum sucking man. This saga began after I married you some 19 years ago. First, we had a son and moved back in with my parents. You controlled our money and when you claimed you were paying the bills, I come to find out that you weren't and my family had to step in to help us not lose everything we own. You were such piece of shit that you were happy to have them do so. We had terrible fights and I began drinking to lessen the pain and in doing so became a full fledge alcoholic. I left you and moved back in with my family and filed for divorce. You never took an active interest in our son while we were married, but oh boy, your sure did when I left you. You fought for custody and lost but never left me alone. You paid child support when you wanted even though I needed help to afford things for our baby. Eventually, you wrestled custody from me and demanded that I pay child support. well, I am not a blood sucking shithead like you and I paid it- always and on time. I know my responsibiity.......but that wasn't enough, you continued to drag me to court for the bull shit of things which you never won.
You let years go by without even trying to get along with your son probably because you wanted me to abort him when I was pregnant. I was always there for him, for school, camp, events which you were much to busy to attend. Then you decided that he could stay with me and did not even ask or call him for 9 months while you continued to get support money and went on all your bullshit business trips. He hates you now and when I finally got back to court to get him away from you, you saw your cash cow in jeopardy. How many times does you own son have to call the cops on you? He wishes you were dead- and I don't blame him. I lost my job and you asked to have the child support INCREASED?? You crap headed piece of garbage, sad excuse for a father, and evil mother fucker.........He has only 1 month left in his prison term of living with you and he is out- he got himself an apartment, financial aid for school and is leaving..........all on his own. He talkes to me on a daily basis and if you had your brains blown out, he would not even know since he only uses your house as a bed and - news flash- if that happened, would be all too happy to run over to your house and empty if of any thing that could bring him a dollar. You get child support from me and do not spend one dime on anything for him-he is not there enough to justify paying for any electricity or water- and you can't come up with $2 a day for lunch for him?
There are no words that I can use to describe what an evil mother fucker you are- you will get yours, that I promise. Keep looking over your shoulder and carry a gun- there is a very very long list of people who would give a million dollars to see your crummy ass go through a terrible, painful and horrifying death.